The letter
by hawklily
Summary: A letter written by MC to 707 that he will never read...


Dear Saeyoung:

It may come as a surprise that I know your right now I'm sure you are more surprised about the way this letter made it to your hands.

I wrote this letter because it was the only way to deliver it to you without getting in trouble, please destroy it once you are done reading it.

Why did I want to write a letter out of the blue?I want to believe that one of the reasons was to confess. I'm 19 years old, I'm too old to confess, I know it seems like I'm an elementary student that can only share her feelings through a piece of paper, but it's much more complicated than that.I guess love is I wonder,How did everything start?When did I start loving you?Maybe the moment when I felt I was falling voluntarily into a web that screamed danger from every angle.

Maybe I had the feeling that I was about to meet the most treasured person in my life and just allowed myself sink into unknown waters.

Maybe it was the way you greeted me, maybe it was the moment I tapped into your computer to see who was trying to look into my information.

I have to admit that the things you found about me,are not who I really am.

The name was a name I borrowed from a book I read.I have often wondered if you fell into this web with me, knowing that I was not being one hundred percent truthful to ever the case we both started to move slowly towards each other.

Many times I would stare at the chat screen, seeing how everyone started to open up to me and the more I got to know everyone, the more I felt conflicted, because no one really knew the real times I wanted to tell everyone the truth but deep down I always would everyone feel if they found out the truth? would I lose their trust? in the end I would just sit quietly and interact you know what? it was eating me up every time.

You gave me quite a challenge, do you know that? But I want to thank you for being a gentleman and respecting my privacy, well kind of, since all the rooms had cameras...except the shower and the first time I noticed I took my bag with me and hid the computer in a small closet inside the your knowledge all I had was a crappy pineapple tablet that I would rage over because it would freeze while watching down I was worried of what would happen if you knew I had that in the apartment.I was always conscience of its existence, making sure I didn't give its location away.I remember the first time that started looking for you while running the water in the tub.I was curious to know who was the person that was following my every move,I really wanted to give my guardian a face and it fueled me to search,I knew it was a huge risk, but I needed to heart was racing,my fingers flew through the keys trying my best not to make any noise in case someone walked in and I had to be fast, because you would notice immediately.I must admit it was frustrating,took me several failed attempts, until a blurry image invaded my were sitting on the floor eating nose twitched from time to time,you would adjust your glasses without can you not blink?I thought to myself, then realized I did the same thing when I was concentrated and couldn't help but had started as curiosity slowly became a necessity. The more we chatted, the more I wanted to see your reactions ,I wanted to see your smiles, your read hair falling on your brow,and sometimes those sad stares, like you were remembering something moments were painful because I wanted to hold you, I wanted to tell you that I was there for you!I wanted to embrace you and soothe that pain you hid so well in text,I wanted to let you know that I was witness of those sad moments and that I knew that beyond your jokes and silliness you were in I couldn't...I remember hiding my face under the blankets and cried myself to sleep.

I tried to look for ways to get to you, but I only had one option: to date the other members of the RFA, not only that, I only had 11 days to make them like have no idea how much I tried to avoid that,because I wanted no one else but you.I wanted to gather more information so I could find at least a shortcut but for the first time in my life, I had come to a challenge I was too weak to surpass and I had to swallow my pride and follow the rules of the game.I too had become a mask wearer, just like felt so foreign for me at first,I got to know each member of the RFA and I started caring for every time you seemed so sad by my decisions,that I wanted to tell you what I was planning but just as I was getting ready to tell you it was time for me to discover that in order to move on I had to reset everyone's was painful to log on and realize no one remembered me,and at some point in time I almost gave up, but you,without even noticing, gave the final clue that would encourage me to keep going: 606.I'm embarrassed to admit it didn't click in my head at first, until one day while in bed I realized what 707 and 606 meant.I realized I wasn't alone suffering through everyone's had given me clues all along, you had sent me encrypted messages on chat all this time! My tears started falling down my face,I tried my best to muffle my cries with the pillows as I hid in the covers, it hurt so much. All this time you had suffered as well, and all this time you had told me you loved me and all this time I had to pretend and hold myself back from running to your arms because I knew all our sacrifices would be in vain if I did.

A rookie hacker could never compare to the great and powerful 707, for your sake and mine, I had to get stronger.

After several rounds I finally had enough information to get to you.I wish you would had seen how happy that made me,after all those sacrifices and sleepless nights I was on my way to you.I could finally tell you how much I loved you, and I could be in your joked a lot, and you would call me and we would be silly together but at times, that happiness faded and you would be sad and all I could do was support you the best I could.I wanted to tell you that I knew the reason of your sadness, that like you, I had not forgotten a single thing from each and every I had to keep quiet.I was afraid that if you knew the true me you would leave.

I had a gut feeling that you would disappear from my side at any moment and it terrified me,I didn't want to give you any excuses to leave me.I had worked so hard to get to you but since you didn't know you pushed me maybe it was because you knew that you did? I don't know. All I know is that my heart ached to the point that I didn't even feel like spying on you at this point I was addicted to your honey colored eyes, to your voice, I wanted to heal you pain at all cost, even if it meant that I had to receive my own share of pain.

I decided to write you this letter today, because I know that today I will be attacked by Saeran. I've always been able to escape but this time, I'm scared. I've failed from giving you a happy ending twice now.I don't know what is going to happen but I do know this.I love you.I loved you from the first time you chatted with me.I want you to know that when you saw me in others arms I was thinking of I did all this to get to all this time I've been working hard to get to this moment.I know it came as a surprise to find yourself being pulled in this alley ordered to read this letter and kissed suddenly from a runaway crazy woman,I know it might be confusing for you,but this was the best I could do,this alley is unaffected by the timeline we have to use,I already calculated the time it will take you to read this and after that you have a couple of minutes to go back to the predetermined things you have to do. I know it might not be enough time, but I just cant handle seeing you sad thinking you are alone reliving everything.I want you to know that I will do my best to give you the happy ending that you deserve, but if I fail and I have to reset,I apologize my love, just know that I will remember you and each and every moment we had together.I don't know if I can create another safe haven like this alley, but I hope that I won't need it, I hope that this time, we can finally be together and if not,10 bags of buddah honey chips and two cases of doctor pepper for the first one to create a place were we can hold each other, even if its just for a couple of minutes, and maybe just maybe I can slip in another letter where you can learn more about the real me.

Forever yours,

the girl that loves you and will never stop fighting for you3


End file.
